that there is pleasure in self-forgetting makes more intuitive sense now, in the face of social-media real-names policies, extensive surveillance, and compulsory reputation management. All the identity-driven self-broadcasting makes it very easily to bristle at the incomprehensible pleasures of others that can inexplicably seem to threaten our own, challenging us with irreducible difference. You can track the resulting cultural backlashes in real time online, with people expressing shock and disbelief and contempt for the pleasure others are taking in something, registering resentful contrary opinions as desperate attempts to preserve some misconceived version of their own integrity

http://thenewinquiry.com/blogs/marginal-utility/social-discovery-vs-sociability/